A Beautiful Heavenly Home

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 John 14:1-3 ‘Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also’.

As I sit here writing trying to escape the daunting, headache that comes with moving and trying to find a house. I have tried to go over what I want in a house, what I need in a house and what kind of home it should be.

Today as I was worrying about the move. I heard a song on the radio about heaven and how we are not home yet. As I listened my heart softened. After all my planning and worrying about finding a house and making it a home, I am reminded of my home in heaven. A home that is so much more than a house, a home that will be safe, a home that will be full of joy and a home with Jesus.

Even though my problems here on earth are still waiting to be solved, I know I have a heavenly father who watches after me. Who is planning a home in heaven that will out do anything I could plan.

I will still try to make my new house into a home, all the while I looking toward heaven waiting for the day I will truly go home.

5 Tips on How to Remain Sweethearts throughout Marriage

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We start out marriage with the idea of lasting love; however it doesn’t always work out that way. Trying to keep our love strong can feel like a full time job. Here are 5 tips to remaining sweethearts.

  1. 1. Have fun- It is easy to let life happen and forget to enjoy each other. Yet having fun and enjoying each other was one of the things that drew you together. Part of a healthy marriage is laughter. Take time to have fun today, enjoy the moments you have together.
  2. Live a blended life- Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. This verse is about so much more than sex it’s about community and togetherness. It is about two different lives’ that commit to coming together and having one life. So often we let others come between us, parents, siblings, friends, and even our own children. Family is important, but when you say ‘I do’ you are forsaking all others.
  3. Forgive quickly- Maybe you can say you have a marriage free of confrontation (although I doubt your honesty). But hear in the real world arguments happen, pride is damaged, and feelings get hurt. Even though we should work on minimizing friction we should also forgive when it does happen. When we do not forgive and harbor hard feelings toward each other it places barriers in the relationship that can be hard to remove.  Forgive quickly and keep your marriage strong.
  4. Take time alone- There needs to be time spent alone. This can apply to couples with or without children. When we spend all our free time with children, with friends, and always in a group we miss out on the one on one time we need to strengthen the relationship. Take a few steps toward spending time together, say no to the dinner you have been invited to and get a baby sitter and go somewhere alone. If you can’t go out spend time talking when you will not be interrupted.
  5. Watch your speech- This point is important to staying sweethearts. Watch your speech. How you react, the words you say. Refrain from using foul language and name calling. Be careful of talking about your mate negatively in front of others. Try not to tell everyone what your spouse has done wrong. Other people, especially your family, will have a hard time forgiving them even after you have. Try to speak good things about your partner. Tell some of the good things they do, small unexaggerated praise can go a long way. This can be a helpful concept if you are already in the habit of talking down about them. Try watching you speech and see if it doesn’t change your attitude toward your spouse.

Love is a commitment. It is worth the effort it takes, to experience the benefits. Take time today to work on the one you can change, yourself.

Choices

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We always hear that what we do affects others. Does it really matter if we get involved or not? Can’t we just do what we want and let others do what they want? Well maybe you think this doesn’t apply to you, you’re not living in sin. You are going to church, taking care of your family, isn’t it hard enough to just live.  Why should we get involved, why should we care about others, why should we be courageous? Here are four reasons our choices do matter, from the book of Esther.

Esther 4:14b ‘And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this’?

  1. We can choose to trust God and have joy in our circumstances. – We do not always get to choose what we go through. Esther did not choose a palace life; she did not choose to marry a pagan king. We may not face a life that extreme, yet like Esther we do not get to choose our life or our hardships.  We can choose whether we respond or react. When Esther was kidnapped and thrown in the palace she could have resented her life, she could have allowed depression, bitterness, and anger to rule her life. If she had, would she have found favor with king? When we go through difficulties there are others watching our life. Will we respond according to our own preaching? Will we rest in God’s promises? Will we stand strong in our faith or give our life over to sin? We do have choices and how we life is a testimony to others.
  2. God will choose another- We can accept the opportunities God places before us, or God will choose another. Esther could have said it was too much to ask, she had not been queen long enough, and how could she bring it up to the king. She could have been like us, not wanting to take on someone else’s problem, not wanting to step outside our comfort zone. Esther 4:14 ‘For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this’?
  3. We will lose God’s blessing – When we choose not to do what God has placed before us it takes away God’s blessing. If Esther had chosen not to go before the king, to stay in her safety zone, could she have been happy? Would she have lived a productive live? No! Not while she was resisting God. She would have stayed up nights worrying about herself and her people. She would have lost all joy. She would have grown fearful, confused, and overwhelmed with life. When we resist God we also face these affects until we repent.
  4. We will miss the opportunity to see God move. – When we go against God’s plan we miss the opportunity to be involved in something bigger than ourselves. Esther would have missed seeing God work in a way that seemed impossible. She would have missed out on the rejoicing in the victory. When we choose not to do difficult things we miss out on the beauty in the end results.

Our life does affect those around us. It is only when we allow God to work through us that we can see the impossible come to pass.

What it takes to be a good mom

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Do you struggle with feeling like a good mom? Do you try and seem to fail? Be encouraged you can be a good mom and live a beautiful life.

 

When my heart is overwhelmed

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(Psalm 61:1-4) Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle forever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.

Are you overwhelmed? Are you heart broken or grieving? Are you wondering where is God and why is he allowing these things to happen? Does it feel like your prayers are not being heard? What do we do when we face moments like this? When the pressure of life is taking our breath away? People give easy answers like “trust God”, “stick in there it will get better soon”, or better yet they just ignore your pain and say nothing. I know we are supposed to trust God, but have you ever been told this and it felt more like a slap in the face? Here are some practical ways to apply Psalm 61 to our live, when we are overwhelmed.

1.       Tell God-I don’t want you to go away from reading this saying I told you to pray. There is more to this verse then our idea of prayer. (example) Say you had a really horrible day at work, you are worn out, your feet hurt, and all you want to do is go home. You finally get home you sit on the couch to relax a moment and what do you do? Pick up the phone, of course, to tell someone about it, your Mom, your sister, or a friend.  It was a hard day, and once you get off the phone the problems are still there, but you feel better already. This is what God wants us to do he wants us to come spill it all, tell him everything. We are not just supposed to assume he knows, which he does, he wants us to be in a relationship with him. He wants us to tell him. Cry out to him today, talk to him as a friend.

2.       Follow - after you have told him your problems and asked for his help the next step is let him lead you. “Well that’s easy to say follow him, at least the psalmist new were he was leading him’. No he didn’t, he wasn’t leading him to a specific place. He is leading him to himself, to that rock, shelter, and tower away from the enemy that place of safety and rest. I personally find this hard in my life because I want to fix situations, not rest. However he wants us to rest and let him do the fixing. Some practical ways of doing this is to stay in his Word. This is probably not the time to start an in-depth Bible study. Just normal reading and meditating. Keep Gods word fresh in your mind. Read Psalms, proverbs, or some of Jesus’s teachings. One tip a preacher friend of mine gave me was read to Psalms 119, which I know is a long chapter. So what I did was listen to it (iPod, iPhone, computer, or cd) over and over again. Until my hunger for his word came back, as I regained more strength and a stronger appetite. Let him lead you, he wants to help. Follow him.

3.       Remember- Go back through your life and remember all the things God has done for you. How he saved you, and how he has helped you. Like verse 3 says “For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy”. Remembering the past can help as you follow him today. If you are having a hard time thinking of things to remember out of your life then look at people in the Bible. Look at Abraham, Joseph, and David. How he rescued Esther, and healed the widow’s son. Remember how he forgave the woman caught in adultery, and how he delivered the children of Israel out of bondage in Egypt.

4.       Trust God – Decide to trust God. Commit to believe his Word. Tell him you are going to trust him always. This doesn’t have to do with your own ability to persevere, it is a mindset. God will give you the strength and desire to follow through with your decision.

Even if you are overwhelmed and struggling God is there waiting to be that shelter, from life’s storm. Run to him today. Trust him.

The Guilty Mom

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What is mom guilt? Why do we allow it to terrorize our life?  The “New Webster’s Dictionary” defines guilt as ‘criminality; sin; wickedness.” It also defines guilty as ‘justly chargeable with guilt; criminal; pertaining to or indicating guilt.’  So guilt is a specific act of doing something wrong or wicked. And guilty means they can prove you did something specifically wrong. So as moms we are taking it upon ourselves to judge and condemn ourselves of a vast array of undistinguishable crimes. We sure are hard on ourselves.

What is true guilt? What is false guilt? How can we tell the difference?

From the definitions above, to be guilty, there needs to be a true and specific event happen where a crime or offence occurred. False guilt on the other hand is not a specific event or occurrence it is an accumulation of emotions that weighs on us telling us we are bad or we have done bad.

When we are in the midst of these feelings, how can we tell the difference and what should we do about it? When you begin to feel guilty, stop and examine your thoughts. Ask yourself a few questions. Did I do something specific?  If the answer is yes, then what was it? Tell yourself the truth about what you did and why it was wrong then think about what you should do to change or fix what you have done. If the answer was no, I did not do anything specific it is just an emotional overload. Then you must stop and tell yourself the truth, ‘I am not a bad mom, I am just feeling bad today’

If you are being held down by these feelings, you can’t find fulfillment until you deal with this issue. One step to take is to stop and ask these questions and really think about it. Is it true guilt; is there something I should do about it? Is it false guilt, am I listening to a lie and allowing myself to live a defeated life.

Tell yourself the truth today, no matter what you have done you can take the first step toward being a better mom.

Why I Quit Trying To Be The Best Mom

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Why I quit trying to be the ‘best mom’ and became a ‘good enough mom’.

I always dreamed of being a mom, of all the precious little babies I would take care of.  I knew I would be great at it. Why not, if you’re going to do something why not be the best. For a while I accomplished my goal.

My first son had the best mommy, I felt invincible. There was nothing I couldn’t do. Get up five times a night, no problem. Change diapers, that didn’t bother me. Take tons of pictures and get them developed, well isn’t that what you’re supposed to do. I knew when to throw out the pacifier and when to get rid of the bottles. I had it going on, until a few things happened that made me start thinking differently.

First it was little things like my son losing weight at 5 months old. “What was wrong with him” I thought. Oh, nothing was wrong with him just me, I was pregnant again, I wasn’t feeding him enough. Get the bottles out, because you’re not good enough.  Ouch, that was the first hard blow and there were many more. Like very few baby pictures of my second son or letting him choke on a nut (a tool not the food) that he picked up while we remodeled our house. Or maybe it was watching my baby girl throw a full blown temper tantrum and not knowing what to do, the boys never acted this way.  It could be because when she was five months old I left her in my Mother’s car for thirty minutes while we talked in her kitchen. There is nothing like crying, knowing you are one of the bad mothers you hear about on TV. It also could be that yesterday went to church and there sitting in church my pretty little five year old girl doesn’t have socks on, in January. I mean come on, I have already learned I am not the best mom, quit teaching me already.

So after a few blows that really took my breath away I quit trying to be the best mom. I will admit my kids do not have the best mom and I am far from perfect. I have resigned to being ‘The good enough mom”

What is a good enough mom you want to know? Well she is the mom who gives of herself all she can, she is committed, she loves, and she protects. She does the most she can to keep her children healthy. She does the most she can to make life fun. She puts bandages on bloody knees, and wipes runny noses. And at night she puts them to bed with a hug. They may not have the best mom but they have me and that is all I can provide, someone to be there, someone to hold them, and someone to help.

I know your stories are not the same as mine (thank goodness) but we all have our stories, stories of mess ups and blunders. So often guilt and motherhood go hand in hand, and we play right along torturing ourselves for our mistakes. Does the guilt really help us be better mothers? I dint know about you but it does not help me, it makes me worse. It is when I forgive myself and stopped the unreasonable expectations, that I truly find freedom to be the ‘good enough mom.  

Are you having problems today being the perfect mom? Are you carrying guilt?  Give up today, quit trying to be perfect, resign and decide to be the ‘good enough mom’. Be there for your kids, love them, and care for them.  Be a ‘good enough mom’ and forget the rest.

Trusting God When It Hurts

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How do we trust God when life hurts? How can we keep looking to our savior when he doesn’t step in with that ‘miracle’?  What do we do when life is hard and our problems are not going away? What does trusting God really mean? What should happen after we trust God? Does it mean I am not trusting if my situation doesn’t improve?

Sometimes life is hard and it just plain hurts. We do not understand why God allows some things to happen. We do know that he says good and bad things happen to everyone.    Matthew 5:45 ‘That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust’. Here are three things we can learn about trusting God when we are hurting.

  1. Do not focus on the outcome. “Lord whatever happens I am going to trust you” that sounds good and Christian like, but it overlooks the ‘now.’ God wants us to trust him in this moment. He wants us to trust him not just with the end results or all the bad things that could or could not happen. He wants us to trust him now with all the pain, confusion, an uncertainty. When we skip to the end and say we will trust God when we know what happens. We miss out on the comfort he offers to those who trust him now, in the midst of the storm. Not just trusting him to bring them out of the storm.  
  2. Trusting God does not solve problems.  “God I am going to trust you, now shouldn’t this problem go away”.  Well what if it doesn’t?  Does that mean God failed or you did not trust?  Neither is correct. Trusting God is just that trusting his character, his person, and his wisdom. I do not trust him to do what I want him to do, I trust him. When we trust him the outcome doesn’t matter because we trust him no matter what we go through. It is him we trust, not the resolution to our problems.
  3. With our confidence in God we pray for deliverance.  Psalm 3:1-5 ‘In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.  Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth’. VS. 14-16 ‘But I trusted in thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me. Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies’ sake.’ VS. 19-21 ‘Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men! Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the LORD: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.’ VS 24 ‘Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.’  In these verses David gives us a good example of how to pray and trust God in the midst of difficult situations. He professes his confidence in God, and then prays for deliverance from his troubles. In verse 24 we see a promise if we hope (trust) in the LORD he will strengthen us. Hold onto that promise as you are hurting today. Trust God for who he is, for what he has done, and what he will do.  

5 Tips For Making Resolutions That Last

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The New Year has come upon us and along with it the time for New Year’s resolutions. So while you are thinking on changes here are a few tips to help your resolutions be a success this year.

  1. Be Purposeful.  Give your goal a definite purpose. Be clear in what you want to accomplish. Don’t just say (for example) “this year I want to lose weight.”  Instead define what you want by saying “I want to lose 30 pounds.”   As you think about your resolutions be as clear and precise as possible.
  2. Be Specific.  Specifically detail how you can accomplish your goal. Decide what you need help with, what you must do, and how you will carry it out. Try to think through as many details as you have time for.
  3. Be Well-informed.   Don’t rush into your decision. Give yourself the first few weeks of January to read and study about what you want to do. Read at least one book, maybe more. Search the internet for relevant information, but beware of schemes that promise results without action.
  4. Put pen to paper.  Once you have decided what you want your resolution (goal) to be, clearly write it all down (or type it). Writing down your plans will keep you from quickly forgetting your plans. It will also help hold you accountable for the results you want to achieve. Also it will remind you of why you wanted this in the first place. So get to writing and sign your name at the bottom.
  5. Be open.  Consider telling someone your decision. This is a hard point to write about because sometimes the decisions we make shouldn’t be described to everyone we run into. Sometimes people just don’t understand they may not want to change their life so they will discourage you from changing yours. But the reason I am including this in this list is it is sometimes helpful to tell someone your plans. For encouragement, accountability, and emotional support. Just make sure it is someone you can trust. If you tell them and then find out you shouldn’t have just don’t bring it up again. Usually one or two friends are enough to tell, just don’t tell other people or give them a very short dialogue about what you’re doing, only if they ask, and try not to argue.

 

I wish you luck and strength as you look at your life and try to better it.

Happy New Year!

 

The Beauty in the Nativity

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1.  The Beauty in the Night.  It was an ordinary night, in a country filled with chaos. No one noticed or even cared about the young Jewish girl or her new born son. No one knew the significance in the night or the beauty it held. It would have gone unnoticed if it wasn’t for the angels God sent.  Choosing to show the beauty of that night to shepherds, the outcast of their day. (Luke 2:10-11) And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. In this chaotic and fearful night God sent a message of joy, because his son had been born, the messiah had made his appearance.   The beauty in that night was the hope that permeated the night air, giving hope to a lost and hopeless world. A sign from God that he had not forgot his promise. He had not forgotten his love for man.                                                                                                                  

 

2.  The Beauty of the Child.  I remember when I first saw my daughter and they placed her in my arms tears filled my eyes and all I could think was ‘she is so beautiful’. I suppose that was how Mary felt as she held Jesus in her arms, touched his tiny fingers and heard his small cry.  She must have marveled at the sight of him. This was the longed for messiah, the one came to save her and her people. Her mind must have gone over and over all the angel had said, and all her parents had taught her, concerning the messiah. Her helpless newborn infant was the fulfillment of Gods promised plan for mankind. He was the reason the angels could bring ‘good tidings of great joy’.

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Verse of the Day 5/20/2012

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

— James 4:7-8 (KJV)

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